How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
