I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
