there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
