Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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