he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is Oprah even human
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
