In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
