my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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