Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
