I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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