So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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