ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Im part way to drunk.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
