even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize