Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
