do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
