i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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