i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
