I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
