I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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