Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
