Taylor Swift is so right about you.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
