when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There's even glitter on my cock...
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