whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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