I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Let's paint friendship bongs
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
