his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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