I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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