i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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