i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
