? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Everclear isn't food dammit
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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