Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
