May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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