Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
