I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
