guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
