i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
