that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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