You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize