1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize