Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
