can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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