Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
