I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
