remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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