Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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