So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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