from now on my penis is your penis
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
