I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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