1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
