Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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