i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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