i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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