I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
