after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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