Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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