I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
