turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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