My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
