He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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