I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
