okay pat passed out under dana's car
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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