If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
