Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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