Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
