You're a womanizer and a bitch.
someone threw a dead crab at me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
