I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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