I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Randomize
