Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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