Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The best walk of shames are on the highway
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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